For several weeks now, there's something that's been bothering me, and I am not even sure if it's right to harbor such feelings and thoughts. Ever get that feeling where someone who is a very close friend to you somehow hides something from you? Well, that's what I've been feeling right now. I dunno how I ever came to feel these things, really. I tried to write it off as just some transient episode of paranoia or some sort, but it keeps haunting me. I thought that just the fact that I've been having these doubts would mean that i'm questioning our friendship.
For me, trust is a BIG issue in all of my relationships, be it familial or platonic. I've been lied to for countless of times. Trust me, it's not something one would enjoy. It's not the lies that are hurtful, but the act of lying pierces the most. And what's worse? The moment that you knew the truth and the person who lied to you doesn't even know yet. The mere instance when you keep feigning that you know nothing while that person just keeps on lying TO YOUR FACE. It's nothing but pure emotional torture.
So, now, it's safe to say that I'm having some trust issues with a certain friend of mine. I'm not really sure yet if this has some empirical basis, but I guess I have to keep in touch with my intuitions. I fervently hope they're wrong, and this is just some kind of a phase for me.
Will probably blog about the specific details in the future.
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